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I pursued one of my dreams and became a make-up artist which, along with my hairdressing, has helped me to create my own business. I attended three weddings during the summer, I went on roadtrips with some of my best friends, I ticked another country (Malta) off my bucket list, and I had without a doubt, the best birthday ever turning 27 this year. The list could actually go on forever now that I think about it!
But there is something about this year that stands out more than anything. And that is how I feel today - now, on 31st December, the last day of 2015, I feel like ME. And that might seem like a strange concept. But let me tell you more...
I have been wanting to blog about this for a long time now, and I think now is the right time to do so. A few years ago, circa 2010, life got all a bit too much for me. I was mid second-year university exams, I was dealing with a separation within my family, and also coming to terms with the fact that my dad was adopted, something we knew absolutely nothing about. I was overwhelmed by everything and I fell to nothing short of rock bottom. I was diagnosed with depression and as a result, ended up postponing my exams and taking a year out to get myself fit and healthy again.
I don't want to go into too much detail on the illness right now, as I think that deserves a post of its own. But I do want to tell you about one aspect of how I felt, and that was that I felt lost. Dealing with the illness made me lose all sense of who I was before. Prior to this time, I was the most outgoing, positive, confident, creative, carefree person in the world. And that was stripped from me. It affected me in the most simple of ways - I didn't know how to dress anymore to feel like me, I didn't know what I wanted in life, I didn't know what I liked and what I didn't like - it was truly awful.
My self-esteem was at its lowest, and I found myself looking at other people and thinking I want to be like this person, or that person, I want to do what they are doing, or I want to wear what they are wearing. I was constantly comparing myself to others and that is not healthy.
- 'Comparison is the thief of joy' -
Franklin Roosevelt
Again, I will leave the detail of my recovery for another post, but thankfully I realised what was happening, and I decided it had to stop. Now, don't get me wrong, depression does not go away overnight, but you get there, trust me. I had to teach myself a LOT of things, the main one being to stop the comparisons. I mean, why put yourself down so much? It takes a lot of focus, a lot of strength, and a lot of determination, but you need to learn to snap out of it, and I've managed to achieve that in the five years since I was first diagnosed. I've found it more effective than ever this year since starting my own business. In such a thriving industry, it can be so easy to look at someone who is doing the same job, and has been for ten years, and think they are so much better than you. But they are much further on in their journey than you, and you have to cut yourself some slack!
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On a more personal level, I've found my feet again when it comes to me. Yes, I look at other people's outfits or their lifestyles and wish I had it. But it stops at that. I don't beat myself up because I don't have it. I am ME and they are them. No two people are the same, and goodness, it would be a very boring world if they were. I have my own sense of style back, and I feel again like I can express myself in so many ways, through my outfits, my hair, my make-up. And of course, my blog posts. Which is one of the reasons Friday's Giirl was born. I wanted to teach myself how to be me - to dress the way I want, to follow my dreams, to live and to grow. And I wanted to share it all with you. If what I blog about helps or inspires even just one person, I will be more than happy. So thank you for following me the past fifteen months, and thank you for helping me to be me. That is something I will forever be grateful for. I can't wait to continue sharing my journey with you in 2016 - it's going to be the best year yet!
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Have a very happy new year!
Lots of love,
Lots of love,
Friday’s Giirl
x
